After getting engaged, drooling over my ring for a while, and returning home to announce the great news, it was time to get ready for the big move. We'd already closed on the house (from 1600 miles away, might I add), and the date for moving was set for the day after Memorial Day. I had approximately 3 weeks.
I'd like to say that being unemployed for the last month of my life in VA was relaxing and fun. And it was, at times. But let's be real. I've lived in VA my entire life. I went to college 20 minutes away, and most of those years - I commuted. Even the calmest days were splattered with moments of complete confusion and fear.
"Life takes you unexpected places, Love brings you home"
- in the entryway to my new home
I never envisioned meeting a man and moving away with him. I told myself I'd never leave all I'd ever known, that I'd grow old (maybe alone) in the area I grew up in. Maybe I'd get rich and move to Williamsburg. Maybe I'd live with Grandma forever. I don't know, but moving to Texas wasn't in my "Plan".
Job
I've been employed with at least two jobs since I was 15 years old. Being unemployed was, in itself, both a relief, but also a source of panic & anxiety for me. Although I had a little money saved and Aaron promised to support me, there's a feeling of uselessness and fear when you realize that your income is finite. I don't know how to NOT work. To NOT worry. Even after quitting, I found myself overly concerned with whether or not things would get done in my absence. (They did, I am disposable. And that is OKAY!) I absolutely had an emotional breakdown when I left my beloved part-time clinical job.
Family
I've lived within 30 minutes of 90% of my family my whole life. When something goes wrong, my mother, grandmother, brother, and sister are literally 15 minutes away. Everywhere I go, there are memories (not always great, but they shaped my life). I was about to move halfway across the US from that. What happens if my Grandma needs my help with something and the other 12 relatives don't respond the way I would have? (She doesn't need my help. She's fine.) When Mom has a day off and wants all her kids there to share a meal? (Well, that part still really sucks for us, but my siblings are there.) My Mom has stated on many occasions that I don't realize how hard this is for her.
She's right, I don't. But I do know that while she is heartbroken and missing me & my dog....I'm missing....everyone. Everyone. Holding back tears on moving day was not a sign of heartlessness, but an effort to make it quick, and try my best to make it a positive experience.
My Home
Most people I know in the 757 talk constantly about leaving. I never really understood why, though. We're 45 minutes from the ocean, there's nightlife, tourism, [some] jobs, amusement parks, a Walmart on every corner. What's so wrong that we all must leave?
I guess I'll never quite understand the mentality. I've had my fair amount of drama in Hampton Roads, and it certainly is refreshing to get away from the familiar at time. I don't even like the beach, but it sure is nice to have the option. And although I'll learn my new home in time, it sure sucks having to GPS directions everywhere for now.
Friends
Even when you don't talk to friends every day, it' hard to move away from them. Yeah, Facebook and texting was our primary communication....but living in the same relative area at least gave me the thought that I COULD see them. I'm now a 25 hour drive away, not an hour. One of my best friends has been out of the state for years....I guess this is how she felt. Seeing my friends during our two going-away parties was the best and worst times. It meant a lot that they all showed up....but it broke me down to say goodbye. I cried most of my tears over them.
I held back tears from my family to keep them strong. I let the waterworks pour with my friends because I knew they'd be strong while I fell apart - as they always have.
Before I left, I cried more than I have in years. Hampton Roads will always be where I'm from. I feel like a part of me is missing some days. But this is an adventure. Life is, I suppose.
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